By: David Matthews
Not so fast
A Swiss driver caught speeding in Ontario, Canada, last month blamed his actions on the absence of goats on the road.
The driver was sure taking full advantage, getting caught doing 100 mph in a 60-mph zone.
A traffic officer’s notes said that the driver claimed he was “used to driving around hills and mountains” and was simply taking advantage “of the ability to go faster without risking hitting a goat.”
Unfortunately, his excuse, while logical, did little good. The officer issued him a $330 speeding ticket anyway.
Worst of the worst
While driving on goat-riddled roads in Switzerland may be dangerous, it’s the drivers themselves who pose a bigger threat in other European nations.
In fact, a recent study by KRC Research and Goodyear found that the worst drivers in all of Europe can be found in Russia.
The study showed that Russians are more likely to drive without seatbelts, break speed limits, drive through red lights and drive drunk than other Europeans.
In fact, 25% of those polled even admitted to engaging in sexual activity while driving.
As a result, about 35,000 Russians are killed in auto accidents each year. That’s roughly twice the rate of traffic fatalities in the U.S.
Many believe that this problem is perpetuated by a corrupt police force that routinely forgives violations in return for bribes.
To combat this, Russian officials have created the country’s first female traffic police unit. Commanders cite research “proving” that women are less corrupt than men and therefore are less inclined to accept bribes.
Also, they claim that women repel goats.
Get your motor running
While Americans wait for their political leaders to curb the rising cost of gasoline, Australian brothels have enacted their own plan.
Brothels, which are legal across most of Australia, are beginning to offer gas discounts to all paying customers.
If you stop in and spend time with one of their “service providers,” they’ll refund 20 cents per liter from your last gas station receipt.
Now that’s a plan that everyone can get excited about.
Going out with a bang
When Craig Moore, 28, saw a light flash on the side of a Manchester road, he was sure that he had been caught speeding by one of Britain’s 4,000 speed cameras.
Moore was afraid that a speeding ticket would result in a suspended license, which would make it impossible for him to keep his job as a welder.
Therefore, he decided he had better destroy the evidence. But rather than take an axe to the camera or spray paint it as others have done, Moore decided to blow it up with some welding chemicals.
Unfortunately, Moore underestimated the camera. Not only did images survive of him speeding, but also of him returning to attack the camera. As a result, Moore was easily apprehended and now finds himself behind bars for the next four months.
On top of everything else, Moore has since learned that if he had just left the camera alone, he would not have been in any trouble.
Local officials have confirmed that the speed cameras are designed to deter speeders, not catch them, and that the flash of light Moore saw was merely a warning.
