By: David Matthews
To make a short story long . . .
It was a simple question: “How did you break your arm?” But for Sara Blasse, the answer was anything but simple.
Police first encountered the 23-year-old at a Vineland, N.J., hospital where she explained that her arm was broken when she was thrown from her Kia Sorento at gunpoint by a carjacker.
When the Sorento was found crashed into a tree and smoldering from a small fire that had been intentionally set, officers became suspicious of Blasse’s story and brought her into headquarters for further questioning.
At the station, Blasse admitted that she had lied about the carjacking. The truth was that she had picked up a male companion and had him drive her vehicle while she “distracted” him. Due to the obvious temptation, the prostitute crashed the Sorento into a tree, breaking Blasse’s arm and also somehow lighting the Sorento on fire a little bit.
Eventually Blasse was forced to admit that this story was a lie, too. It turns out that both of these outrageous tales were attempts to cover up the fact that Blasse and her boyfriend, Henry Goode, stole a laptop computer from a car.
While attempting to elude police, Goode crashed the Sorento into a tree, breaking Blasse’s arm. To eliminate any evidence, the pair decided to torch the vehicle. Failing to properly ignite the gas tank, they decided to split up on foot.
Blasse went to the hospital, where she spun her tales of carjackings and hooker chauffeurs.
Goode stole a van from a natural-gas facility, drove to a location near his home and once again unsuccessfully tried to light a getaway vehicle on fire. Goode then hid himself and the laptop in his own home, which shockingly was also the first place police looked for him.
Don’t cross the crossing guard
When kids in Philadelphia go back to school this month, they’ll probably be a bit more respectful to their local crossing guards, thanks to Gerald Kelly. Kelly, 60, was a crossing guard last year for a local middle school.
Throughout the school year, a 14-year-old had taunted the 6-ft 2-in., 200-lb Kelly, calling him “fatso” and “fatboy.”
Ever the professional, Kelly never reacted to the boy. That is until he ran into him this summer outside a pharmacy. It wasn’t long before Kelly had the teenager off his feet with his foot on the boy’s throat.
Kelly was arrested, and only then did the school learn of his 40-year criminal record for assaults and weapons possessions, most of which occurred around the time that his co-workers began calling him “dumb face.”
Finger-biting good
The world’s first ice cream truck for dogs has opened for business in London.
The K99 ice cream truck serves ice cream cones in two flavors: “Dog Eat Hog World,” a ham-and-chicken sorbet topped with a dog biscuit, and “Canine Cookie Crunch,” a more traditional blend of ice cream and biscuit bits. The flavors were developed by a team of scientists tasked with developing a new doggy treat that included the perfect combination of temperature, texture and taste.
Seeing as dogs love chasing cars almost as much as they love dessert, distributing the treats in an ice cream truck seemed natural.
Dubbed the K99 Van, the truck is making stops in parks across the U.K. for the rest of the summer, and it will be hard to miss.
The brightly colored vehicle features a sliding window where dogs can line up to place their orders and pick up their cones. It even has a loudspeaker summoning canine customers with the Scooby Doo theme song.
The treats are made from soy milk and are safe for both pets and their owners. However, if you decide to share, it’s advised that you keep track of your fingers.
