By: David Matthews
Pedal like it’s 1999
Father’s Day is a time to celebrate the indelible contributions that dads make in our lives. So this year, let’s do better than another coffee mug and a fart joke card.
Does Dad love music, exercise and dress-up? If so, you can’t go wrong with this month’s Pedalpalooza bicycle festival in Portland, Ore., featuring the 9th annual Prince vs. Bowie ride.
Each year, participants honor the two quirky music icons by dressing up in the extravagant styles of their favorite and riding around the city in a big dance party on wheels.
After David Bowie’s death earlier this year, organizers considered making this year’s ride a special send-off to the Thin White Duke.
However, the news of The Purple One’s untimely death in April means that it will be Prince vs. Bowie once again, for the final time, making this a can’t-miss event for dads with blouses everywhere.
New wheels in motion
If Dad prefers four wheels instead of two, there are some rather unique new options out on the market.
For the Dad who demands the ultimate in secure family vehicles (or who commutes into Detroit), Land Rover has introduced its first armored SUV.
The Range Rover Sentinel retains the luxury feel of the Range Rover brand while adding on a few subtle enhancements, including steel plating, armored privacy glass, a self-sealing gas tank, anti-tamper exhaust system and a six-part safety cell that protects against everything from an automatic rifle to a hand grenade.
Is Dad longing for a Land Rover but not gangsta enough to need an armored car? Is he part of that microscopic vehicle-buying demographic that wants to combine its passions for SUVs, luxury vehicles and convertibles into one puzzling package?
Then consider the Range Rover Evoque Convertible. The world’s first (and perhaps last?) luxury compact convertible crossover SUV hits the market this summer.
If a need for speed outweighs all of Dad’s other must-haves, consider springing for the Bentley Bentayga, billed as the world’s fastest SUV.
Bentley claims that the Bentayga can top out at 187 mph, which is 10.6 mph faster than the Porsche Cayenne Turbo S.
Its ultra-premium price tag of approximately $230,000 for the base model also earns it the title of world’s most expensive SUV.
If money is no object and you want to present Dad with a family heirloom that he doesn’t have to keep in a display cabinet, the Toyota Setsuna concept car should be at the top of your list.
Built almost entirely from Japanese birch and cedar using a traditional joinery technique called okuriari that uses no nails or screws, this vehicle is a work of art.
Dad will have to limit his road trip to about 16 miles and stay off the highways since the Setsuna’s electric motor’s top speed is just 28 mph.
Recipe for disaster
If taking Dad out for dinner is part of your Father’s Day plans, you’ll want to ensure that rare meat is not on the menu and that no cats are on the guest list.
A study published recently in the Journal of Clinical Psychiatry has shown a link between toxoplasmosis, an infection by the parasite toxoplasma gondii, and Intermittent Explosive Disorder.
People with IED (an unfortunate acronym) experience behavior changes including outbursts of extreme aggression, anger and recklessness. Scientists found that people who experience road rage and other types of explosive anger are twice as likely to have a dormant t. gondii infection.
Cat feces are the source of the parasite, but it can be spread by contaminated water or undercooked, contaminated meat. After ingestion, there may be a few days of mild, flu-like symptoms, followed by a long period during which the parasite essentially hides from the immune system.
Researchers previously thought the bug was dormant during this phase, but the new report suggests that its presence has ongoing effects on brain chemistry that can result in impulsive, dangerous behavior and slower reaction times. These make a person more likely to be killed, especially on the road, which would allow the parasite to escape and be passed on to others.
In other words, the next time you get in trouble for raging against another driver, just tell them that your cat made you do it.
About The Author: Matthews has been chronicling the unexpectedly humorous side of transportation news since 2000. The stories are all true.
