By David Matthews
Great news, everyone! Your car is now judging you.
Thanks to some incredibly ambitious scientists, researchers have discovered that artificial intelligence (AI) can detect depression in older drivers based on their, let’s say, adventurous driving patterns—because apparently, their music choices and conversations with the radio weren’t enough of a clue.
Researchers from Washington University in St. Louis strapped little spy devices (okay, GPS trackers) to the cars of 395 people aged 65 and older. Their goal? To see if those prone to sudden braking, sharp turns, or driving to increasingly random places were, in fact, experiencing depression. Spoiler alert: they were.
The study, published in npj Digital Medicine, found that older adults with major depressive disorder (MDD) didn’t just drive differently—they drove riskier. While one might assume they’d take it easy, these folks were out there braking hard, cornering like NASCAR drivers, and logging more miles than expected, seemingly on a mission to prove that age is just a number on the speedometer.
The second phase of the study went full sci-fi, using machine learning to predict depression. Based solely on driving habits and not demographic factors like age and education, the AI model was 90% accurate in identifying individuals with depression.
The good news is that this research could lead to better mental health screenings for older adults, helping them stay safe and independent. The bad news is that your car might start recommending therapy along with its oil changes.
Distraction Mode Activated
In addition to monitoring driving habits, AI may also be needed to monitor whether drivers are even looking at the road.
In a shocking revelation that surprises absolutely no one, two new studies by the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety (IIHS) confirm that when cars do more of the driving, humans do more… of everything else.
Volvo’s Pilot Assist and Tesla’s Autopilot, each designed to make driving safer, apparently turn drivers into snack-eating, phone-scrolling, self-grooming passengers who occasionally remember they’re supposed to be in control.
In the first study, 29 drivers got to test out Volvo’s Pilot Assist over three years. The more they used it, the more distracted they became—because, of course, why focus on the road when your car is sort of doing it for you? Even when the system required hands-on steering, drivers still found ways to multi-task. Eating cereal? Sure. Checking emails? Obviously. Trimming their beard at 70 mph? Probably.
The second study had 14 volunteers rack up 12,000 miles using Tesla’s Autopilot, triggering nearly 4,000 attention-related warnings and 72 escalations, 16 of which led to a full driver lockout. The study found that over time, Autopilot reminders increased while escalations dropped, as drivers perfected the teenage art of pretending to pay attention.
Turns out, if you give drivers an inch of automation, they’ll take a mile… and a snack… and a phone call.
The Taxi Brain Boost
Driving a taxi isn’t exactly a wellness retreat. Long hours, bad posture, questionable air quality—it’s practically a checklist for future health problems.
But in a shocking twist, science has found that a lack of technology gives their brains an unexpected boost and significantly decreases their rate of developing Alzheimer’s.
Harvard physician and economist Anupam B. Jena, an author of a recent study in The BMJ, wanted to know, “Are there things you could do over your lifetime that might reduce the risk of dementia?”
According to this research, the answer seems to be: Spend decades memorizing street maps and maybe yell at a few jaywalkers for good measure.
The study analyzed CDC data and found that while taxi drivers have a lower life expectancy (67 years, compared to the dataset’s average of 74), they’re significantly less likely to die from Alzheimer’s—only 1% of them, compared to 3.9% of the general population.
So, in short: your brain stays sharp, but your body calls it quits early. Fantastic.
This isn’t the first time cabbies have made neuroscientists do a double take. A famous study from 20 years ago found that London’s black cab drivers, who must pass “The Knowledge” (an infamously grueling navigation test), actually have a larger hippocampus—the brain’s memory and navigation hub—than the rest of us who rely on Google Maps to find our way out of a parking lot. RB
David Matthews has been chronicling the unexpectedly humorous side of transportation news for his Roads Report column since 2000. The stories are all true.
