By: David Matthews
Mike cheated and his partner wants everyone to know.
The jilted lover in Washington, D.C., found Mike’s red Mitsubishi Outlander Sport late on a Saturday night in November and spray painted “Mike is a cheater” on the hood and both sides, snapped off the side mirrors, smashed the front and back windshields, and coated the license plates in black paint.
Mike would have gotten what he deserved, if the car was his.
Perhaps due to the darkness of night or just blinding anger, Mike’s ex vandalized the wrong vehicle.
The following morning as Nedra Brantley headed out to her red Mitsubishi Outlander Sport, the veteran couldn’t believe what she saw.
“I screamed,” Brantley told NBC News4. “I’m surprised nobody in the neighborhood heard me, because I screamed so, so loud.”
Brantley is working with her insurance company to get her SUV fixed while police try to figure out the identity of the vengeful vandal.
In the meantime, Mike, you’ve been warned. Change your ways or find a high-security parking facility.
Roll over and play dead
What’s more annoying than having a pleasant afternoon drive interrupted by a bowling ball?
A young married couple in Kansas City, Missouri, found out in November when a would-be 1960s Batman villain rolled a bowling ball directly at their car. The ball became wedged under their car, forcing them to stop.
While the husband was under the car dislodging the ball, a second baddy approached the car and tried to steal the wife’s purse.
In an effort to fight off the thief, the wife accidentally accelerated the car and drove over her husband.
Hearing him yell from under the car, she backed up and inadvertently ran over him a second time.
The husband was taken to a hospital in critical condition but is expected to fully recover. The purse snatcher got away, but left the purse behind after seeing what the wife was seemingly willing to do to her own husband.
Landmark decision
When Angelo Fregolent bought a new car in 1974, he parked his old 1962 Lancia Fulvia in front of the newsstand that he and his wife, Bertilla, ran in a small Italian town.
For nearly 50 years, the car never moved from that spot.
The couple used it to store newspapers and unsold goods until two years ago when, at the age of 92, Angelo broke his hip and decided to retire. The couple closed up the newsstand but left the car behind.
Today the car is considered a local landmark. It even has its own marker on Google Maps. Sure, the tires are flat and there is a considerable amount of rust, but residents and tourists still love to snap selfies with the old car and consider it the heart of the town.
In October, officials decided that because the car was blocking the flow of traffic and pedestrians, it would have to move, but certainly not to the scrapyard.
It was first displayed alongside dozens of other timeless cars at the Auto e Moto d’Epoca Motor Show in northern Italy.
It was then sent to a workshop to be carefully restored, and afterward it will be placed outside a local school next to Angelo and Bertilla’s house so they can admire it along with the rest of the city for years to come.
Low blow
Officials in Glenridge, New York, can’t figure out how to get drivers to stop hitting their bridge.
The Glenridge Road bridge is just 10 ft, 11 in. high, and has been hit by more than 100 trucks in the past several years. Despite the city posting 14 roadside signs warning about the low bridge, plus additional notices on the pavement and the bridge itself, the accidents keep piling up. In fact, this past November three vehicles hit the bridge in a four-hour span.
Each crash ties up Glenridge police officers, firefighters, and highway crews for hours at a time. Town Supervisor Chris Koetzle told CBS-6 that these accidents cost taxpayers $50,000 in 2019 alone.
Glenridge is considering various deterrents, including an electronic detection and warning system, stiff fines, or hiring Mike’s ex to spray-paint messages of shame on every vehicle that touches the bridge.
About The Author: Matthews has been chronicling the unexpectedly humorous side of transportation news since 2000. The stories are all true.
