By: David Matthews
Horny little devil
When another driver ticks you off on the highway, it’s easy to explain the nature of their error, and exactly how their severely diminished mental capabilities led to that mistake from the safety of your own car cruising at 65 mph.
But afterward, things can feel a bit awkward if you find yourself idling next to the target of your outburst at a red light.
Such was the case when Ronny White and Keith Ransford found themselves stopped at a traffic light after an altercation on U.S. 1 in southern Florida.
Eager to break the tension by helpfully pointing out the areas of Ransford’s driving abilities most in need of improvement, White parked his pickup truck and attacked Ransford’s Jeep with the only correction tool he could find: A pair of deer antlers.
When the antlers failed to break the windows on Ransford’s Jeep, White tried ramming the vehicle with his pickup truck in order to really get his point across.
Ransford chased after White and the pair rammed their vehicles again, finally coming to a stop about a block away. White then pulled out a handgun and fired a shot into Ransford’s Jeep, as if to say, “Hey, friend, tailgating is neither safe nor cool.”
Unfortunately, both men were apprehended by police before they were really able to teach each other much of anything, or accidentally teach an innocent bystander.
Fantastic voyage
Just because Ben Carpenter gets around in a wheelchair, don’t think he doesn’t know a thing or two about burning rubber.
Carpenter, 21, was attempting to cross a busy intersection near his home in Kalamazoo, Mich., last month when the lights changed and he found himself in the path of an oncoming Freightliner semitrailer.
The truck bumped the side of Carpenter’s wheelchair, which spun his chair around and caused the handles to become lodged in the truck’s grill. Carpenter’s day was about to pick up.
The wheelchair, with Carpenter still strapped in, was pushed by the truck down the Red Arrow Highway at speeds of around 50 mph. The wheelchair tires left black lines on the pavement as the truck picked up speed, and eventually burned almost entirely off.
A pair of undercover police officers who happened to be driving in the opposite direction noticed the strange sight and quickly made a U-turn to try and stop the truck.
After a two-mile journey, the trailer arrived at a trucking facility where police explained to the disbelieving driver what had happened. The driver said he never saw Carpenter in the intersection and had no idea he was attached to the truck.
Other than a spilled drink and the loss of a favorite hat, Carpenter was unscathed and still looking forward to summer camp starting in a few days.
The real Miami heat
The weather isn’t the only thing that’s hot in Miami. For the second consecutive year, angry Miami drivers have earned their city the title of Worst Road Rage City in America.
According to a survey by AutoVantage auto club, Miami drivers were accused of slamming on their brakes, running red lights and spending more time on their cell phones than paying attention to the road.
Notoriously aggressive New York drivers came in second place, followed by Boston, Los Angeles and Washington, D.C.
If you’re looking for courtesy on the roads, then head northwest. The survey found Portland, Ore., to be the home of the most courteous drivers, followed by Pittsburgh and Seattle/Tacoma.
When informed of the survey results, Miami drivers responded, “See, we can win at something without Shaquille O’Neal.”
